It’s time to get serious again. I like training. I like plans and order, and clear expectations, and training fits that better than just “going for runs”. I also like the things I learn while training, and the improvements I see, so it’s win-win. (I’ll try to remind myself I wrote this, when I’m in the middle of hill repeats or intervals) I also need the accountability. It’s too easy to blow off a run when it’s “just a run”. The excuses are endless, and all good ones. I should spend the time with the kids, the house needs work, my volunteer activities need my attention, I need some sleep, my leg/back hurts, and on and on. But when I’m training, I feel like I have a set of rules to follow, and the excuses get weaker.
I’ve also gained a solid 10lbs in the last 6 months. This is a combination of not running, holiday eating, and stress eating. Running helps me burn off stress, and makes me feel good about myself. Eating crap is a (lousy) coping mechanism I have for stress and feeling low about myself. So I have high hopes for an improved physique, along with improved pace. I’m giving a vegan diet a go right now as well. We feed our kids vegan, but I had been clinging to milk in my coffee, and eggs and dairy as treats when out and about. We’ll see how that goes, it makes junky eating a little harder, that’s for sure.
I’m excited about this. I met with my coach and laid out the plan. He’s calm and confident, and a scientist, so we work well together. I’m all about rules and plans and details, so I need that mindset to do my best. The 10k in April is our first goal, followed by a
in October. Seriously. I’m still coming to terms with the fact I’m doing this, more than a little scared, but so excited to think about actually doing it.
I haven’t been back to post in a LONG time, because I had no running to write about. My last real running was in May, with one travel run in July. Other than that, nothing. I miss it, so much.
I’ve been trying desperately to fix whatever is wrong with my body, but I’m starting to wish I’d never bothered. After many months (because I started trying to heal before I stopped running) of experts, exercises and patience, and I’m no better off. I have as much pain as I did before I started trying to fix myself. Talk about frustrating! First I saw a physio for IMS treatments. I read you should get relief within 6-8 treatments…..I saw her over 20 times before I gave up on that. I tried a chiropractor (who was a runner!) but after a month without improvement, he sent me along to another physio. I’ve been seeing that fellow for over a month now, not running at all on his advice, and still hurting.
I miss my stress release. I miss the metabolism boost. I miss feeling like an athlete. My fitness is dropping, my weight climbing, and I am very, very sad. But I don’t know what to do next.
I’m beginning to wonder how much pain I’ve been ignoring all along. I feel like now that I’ve stopped pushing, with the goal of fully healing my body and getting rid of the nagging pain, I notice so much more pain. I don’t think I’m severely injured, so much as finally paying attention to the hurting. My back is seeing some improvement, after the 3 chiropractor visits I’ve had so far. It’s still not right, though. It’s been not-right for a long time, so it may take a while to get it right, I understand this. It’s still frustrating. I want to run, and I want to run without pain. It seems my IT band is acting up, as well. So there are a lot of different spots that hurt all down my right leg. It’s not fun.
I’m not running at all right now, as that seems the best. But I hate it. I miss running physically. I miss the mental break, and the lift I got from it. I miss the emotional release. And I really miss the metabolism boost. I love food, and I’m scared of gaining back some of the weight I’ve worked so hard to lose. I eat when I’m stressed. It’s kind of a double whammy, since I’m not running to deal with stress, I eat more, and since I’m not running to burn the calories, they matter more. Ouch.
I’m going to try water running tomorrow, I think. I’ve never done it, I’m not much of a swimmer, but I’m getting desperite. It’s less convenient, as I can’t just walk out the front door and start, the way I can with running, but I need to do something, and soon.
I’ve noticed that my higher (and more intense) energy expenditure lately has afforded me more freedom in eating. During 2010 I worked pretty hard on revamping my eating, along with adding activity, in order to lose some weight. I was successful in dropping about 30lbs, and have been feeling much better about my health and size since. Then I started training for the 10k early this year, and slowly relaxed my eating as I increased my training. More treats snuck in, as well as higher portions. But I wasn’t gaining weight! My smaller clothes still fit. After a few weeks of not-very-good-eating-choices, and no real change in size or weight, I realized I’d finally achieved something magical. That point where I could “eat what I wanted and not gain weight”!
What I want to eat has shifted a little over time. More apples and less crackers find their way into my day, I’m consciously trying to increase my protein at each meal, but I’m not being strict about it. Plenty of treats find their way onto my plate, especially over holidays. But that’s ok. I can relax about eating, and not gain back that hard-lost weight! For a gal who has always been big, struggled with eating and weight loss, this is fantastic.
Going forward, I’d like to lose another 10lbs or so. I feel more confident about it now, knowing it’s possible, and not requiring horribly restrictive eating to accomplish. Part of my next training plan will be a better look at my eating, and better nutrition planning to fuel my body well, and I think that a little more weight loss should just happen. If I train hard, and eat well, my body will do what I need it to.